Friendship

  Over the past year, I have worked with many groups of students on friendship issues.  Sometimes it is just 2 friends needing help, while other times it can be many together or the entire class. Many friendship conflicts start because each of us are so different.  Elementary students want to be liked and accepted, so it's hard for them to accept that they are "different" from others.  Yet this is what makes us so special!  Because we have different likes, dislikes, needs and personalities, conflicts are inevitable.  So here are some points I try to get across with students:
     1.  Accept each person the way they are.  Different does not mean better or worse.
     2.  Gently tell each other how you feel-do not blame others.  I teach the 1st grade classes about "a bug and a wish."  "It bugs me when.....I wish you would....."
     3.  Do not boss others.  Adults feel very defensive when they are "told" to do something instead of being asked.  Children are no different.
     4.  Help others, but don't get in the middle of other's business.  Sometimes students want to find out what's wrong with everyone else and in the process, they make things much worse.  And in addition, the other friends work things out, and end up blaming the one in the middle for the trouble.  Many times, entire classrooms of students get involved in someone else's business, when it can be solved very easily by just 2 people.
    5.  Don't gossip.  Period.  This one thing has ruined many friendships for children and adults.  I know it is very tempting to find out the latest information, but it can be so hurtful, especially with children that are still learning how to deal with life issues.
   I have been using a book called Friends:  Making them and Keeping Them. It is an American Girl book for young girls, but can be used for both boys and girls.  It can be purchased at Amazon.com.
http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=american+girl+friends+book&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=3997723165&hvpos=1t2&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5859090461191136340&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&ref=pd_sl_60u29s71m2_b